There are two faces that define a man. The first is the face a man makes when he just finished raw dogging the political process to safeguard the sanctity of the marital bond between a man, his wife, and his handmaiden.

The second face is the one a man makes after he's seen a truly gigantic penis, perhaps the largest he has ever encountered. There are many places where Mike Johnson would never go that might result in him seeing an mind shatteringly large penis, like an underground DC brothel designed to cater to Congressmen, who are both Baptist and into the gayer shit from the Weimar Republic.

Fortunately, you don't have to worry about Mike Johnson. He looks like that in the photo above because he's tired from defending Americans against consenting adults who have realistic expectations about their rights and contribute to their society. Yeah, he totally didn't catch an eyeful of grade A dick.

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