CENTENARY COLLEGE IS TOTALLY, 100% NOT GAY

I once thought there was a lot of gayness at Centenary College; however, in light of recent events, I have no choice but to applaud them for the straightness of their decision to have Congressman Mike Johnson speak on the subject of civility at Centenary's Faith at Work Series. For that reason as well as the ones that follow, I must say Centenary College is Totally 100%, Not Gay: 



Congressman Johnson is qualified to address many things, from what poor people should buy at the grocery story to how a man should please a woman, so many will ask why he will address civility. The answer is simple. Few men are more qualified to address civility than Rep. Johnson, and we need to address civility in our trying times. 

The details section for the Facebook event states that Rep. Johnson is the author of a "congressional resolution on civility and speaks often on this topic in both Louisiana and Washington." His unique degree of courage and civility allows him to enable our incredibly civil President. Civility means telling your truth and doing a little dog whistle when civility prohibits you from disclosing your motivations for specific policies. 

A great example of Rep. Johnson's commitment to civility is his decision to ask Trey Baucum, M.D., a fellow Republican competing for the same Congressional seat, how he reconciled being Christian with having a gay brother. That sort of straight talk takes courage, something Rep. Johnson, who had the courage to not serve in our armed forces, has in spades. To be clear, the fact Rep. Johnson talks about how civil he is, renders any questions that could coincidentally demonize an entire community totally, 100% okay.   

Rep. Johnson is not afraid to talk about how aggressively he talks about civility. He is certainly not afraid to declare that his political opponents have failed to behave in a civil manner. 

There are few Congressmen who cultivate as welcoming an atmosphere as Rep. Johnson. During town halls, his ardent supporters are civil enough to ask young people, minorities, and gay people, who is paying them to be there. Rep. Johnson does such a good job of cultivating civility among his constituents that he doesn't feel the need to tell his supporters that they should be civil to other people or to stop spreading videos that compare teenage survivors of mass shootings to the Hitler Youth. 

A great example of civility can be seen in Rep. Johnson's relationship with President Trump, a relationship that has never led our Congressman to imagine the touch of our President's giant hands against his pale body. That type of relationship speaks as much to Rep. Johnson's commitment to civility as to his not being gay. 

Rep. Johnson had the courage to post on Facebook that President Trump wished him happy birthday on his way to the State of the Union Address: 



Being civil requires respecting the opinion of the opposite sex, as long as you are a woman. In an era of women wearing genital hat wear, the threat to civility is all too real. Thankfully, Rep. Johnson recognizes that civility allows men to be men. For that reason, he has adhered to a civility that allows men to be men. An example is his endless support of our President's extremely straight actions and statements, including his handling of cats: 


Naturally, Rep. Johnson recognizes that civility requires the ability to defend oneself amid intense criticism (or difficult questions from a woman). In fact, you could refer to Rep. Johnson as Tammy Wynette for the way he stood and continues to stand by his man, President Trump, when he politely suggested the debate audience should excuse Megyn Kelly's rude behavior: 


Additionally, Rep. Johnson understands it is important not to let minor sleights escalate. For instance, when the President employed a variety of hand signals to better communicate with his audience, Rep. Johnson focused on the important issues. Unfortunately, the less civil, less straight media attempted to brand this as mocking the handicapped, a group that Rep. Johnson correctly recognizes probably is neither offended nor capable of being offended: 


Rep. Johnson understands civility means no one should bring up things that conflict with your agenda or understanding of how the world works. It takes courage to avoid discussing things that you don't want to talk about. 

It would not be civil to discuss all those black men (and children) who have been killed to death, the demands for meaningful gun control from children attempting to exploit a tragic mass shooting they survived, the President referencing multiple developing nations as shit hole countries, the ongoing humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico since Hurricane Irma, the President's push to deport Dreamers, the desperation of children in Central America attempting to cross the border for fear of being brutally murdered or raped by gangs, those Neo-Nazis marching Charlottesville, the President's statements referring to some of the Nazis in Charlottesville as being good people, the President's decision to fire a dedicated civil servant less than forty-eight hours before his pension vested, increasingly powerful evidence Russia intentionally interfered with the election, disturbing evidence the President and/or people involved with his campaign colluded with the Russian government, that stuff from that Black Mirror episode that has started happening, that other stuff from that other Black Mirror episode, the level of gerrymandering the modern Republican Party relies upon to maintain otherwise uncompetitive conservative politicians, statements from Alex Jones that are objectively false and completely inflammatory, that season finale of the bachelor everyone is talking about, etc., because these are all distractions that just make people mad. 


It is not civil when colored people, broads, fairies, or commies, which are all terms of endearment that Rep. Johnson's supporters feel free using, bring up these issues, because they distract the Congressman from taking back their country. The real issue in this country is about stopping Obama, who is no longer President, and Hillary, who never was President. 

Understandably, Centenary's leadership must feel a great deal of pressure at this time; however, they should feel very secure in the message they have sent to their students. Rep. Johnson has a very important job and has supported our President's decision to do a series of very normal things, none of which are troubling in relation to national or international history. It's not like Centenary students who are troubled by Rep. Johnson are consistent with recent political trends that have alarmed a significant number of the nation's economists, historians, scientists, medical doctors, social workers, FBI agent's, intelligence community, diplomats, journalists, attorneys, or other professionals, who are responsible for our food production, economy, and social stability. 

Centenary has sent a clear signal to its gay, transexual, black, Muslim, foreign, female, poor, disabled, and other students that Rep. Johnson's views are totally normal. This is great because Centenary is giving Rep. Johnson a platform to announce his commitment to civility, while he refuses to represent the extremely gay interests of Centenary students, allows his supporters and political allies to threaten the interests of those groups, and then points to his record of civility to avoid any political repercussions - that's just smart. Thanks Centenary for helping Rep. Johnson do that!

Centenary College is as civil as Mike Johnson, a man who had the courage to ask Trey Baucum how he could reconcile being a Christian with having a gay brother. Clearly, they are as not gay as Congressman Johnson, because if they were concerned with gay rights, they would not have scheduled this event. 

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